Warped Mirrors
by Catalina Storm
Summary: A regular transmutation goes bizarrely awry and leads to a situation Edward and Alphonse never expected.
1. Chapter 1

When Edward came to, he realized that the transmutation had partially worked. It had to have worked, otherwise he wouldn't have woken up at all.

Dammit, his head hurt.

He sat up carefully, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. With the exception of his aching head, he didn't seem to be badly hurt. Probably got conked on the head by a rock as the ceiling came down on them.

Them. Where was Alphonse?

"Al?" Edward called cautiously, frowning. His eyes weren't adjusting, and it was irritating. They must be totally buried. Quietly cursing himself for deciding to take a shortcut through a mountain instead of around it, he was already formulating a way to make this Mustang's fault. Well, he was in a hurry...

"'Niisan?"

There he was. Edward was starting to get worried at the silence. "Al! Do you still have those matches?" He could have used alchemy to make a light, but he wasn't sure how stable the rocks above their head really were. Next time they might not be so lucky.

"Yeah..." he heard rustling. "Niisan, what's wrong with your voice?"

Edward was busy feeling around his head, seeing how low the ceiling was. He couldn't reach it sitting up, so it might be safe to stand. He started feeling around him on the stone floor. "There's nothing wrong with my voice," he said distractedly, some part of his mind catching up with him. Al's voice didn't sound very tinny, like it usually did.

His exploration discovered Al's leg. He patted the cold metal, reassured that his brother was there. Then he frowned. Why was the rustling coming from somewhere to his left, if Al was on his right?

"Ah, found them!" Alphonse said. From somewhere on his left. Just then, a thinner, tinnier-sounding voice said "'Niisan...?"

Before Edward had time to figure this out, Al lit the match.

The light dazzled them. Edward was blinking away stars, when he saw Alphonse holding the match. He could feel his mouth drop open in confusion and amazement. "Al...?"

It was Al... in the flesh. That was impossible. Al, his little brother ... was sitting next to him. His hand was still on the armor's leg. But, there he was, right across from him, no more than two arm lengths away. As his mind fought to figure this out, he noticed Alphonse's armor.

Seated behind Alphonse.

His brain was going to shut down if he tried to think any faster. By the expression on Alphonse's face, he was going through a similar mental meltdown. His mouth was working like he was trying to get something out but was failing miserably.

The match fizzled out.

Edward sat, frozen. What had just happened? The cave was silent; no one spoke. He could hear breathing, though, so he knew that the flesh Alphonse was still there and not a hallucination. He took a deep breath and held it, to be certain.

Yup. Breathing. In fact, he could hear two people breathing.

What the HELL was going on?

"Al?" Edward finally asked, shakily.

The armor beside him shifted, he could hear it clank slightly. "'Niisan ... I ... just saw myself..." That was his Al, all right. The voice was tinny, echoed around in that large suit of armor. Alphonse sounded like he was very close to freaking out.

Edward felt like he was very close to freaking out. "Who the hell are you?" he finally half-shouted into the darkness. "Why won't you light another match?"

In response, a match lit. But it didn't come from the same direction as Alphonse. He saw the other Alphonse illuminated, looking as startled as he felt, and they both swiveled towards the new source of light.

A girl was seated there, dressed very similarly to Edward himself. She wore the same expression as Alphonse, one of complete confusion. "Al," she said slowly. "I don't think we're in Amestris anymore..."


	2. Chapter 2

It took three more matches and an escalating shouting match loud enough to rattle the rocks above their heads to confirm everyone's identities. "This is unbelievable," Alphonse said, shaking his head. "How did something like this happen?"

"Maybe we're all dead," that was the female Ed, whose proper name was apparently Edana.

"We're not dead," Edward's Alphonse insisted, his familiar, echoing voice a comfort to a very discombobulated Edward. "If we were dead... we would be ourselves again."

There was a muttering agreement from the others.

"If we're not dead," that was the female Alphonse, named Alanza, "then we will be soon if we don't figure out a way out of this cave."

"Well, some of us would be," that was the other Edward. It chilled Edward to his core to hear his voice echoing and tinny ... it was him in that armor behind Alphonse.

Alphonse rapped on his brother's armor. "That's not nice, 'niisan," he remonstrated idly.

"Nice or not, it's the truth." Edward glanced around at the group of them. "We'll run out of matches soon, so we should conserve them." He saw nods of assent from the others. Edana glanced up, at the low ceiling in their cave. "At least we won't run out of breathable air for a little while," she nodded at the large stones mish-mashed together. There were gaps and cracks in them that left air through.

"So how do we get out of here?" Edward's Alphonse asked, as the match burned out.

Edward heard the human Alphonse scrabbling on the dirt and stone floor. "What are you doing?" he asked, curious.

"We could try to go down," Alphonse said.

"And go where?" Edana asked. "The tunnel I was in was a pretty straight shot. We didn't go up or down at all."

Alphonse stopped scrabbling. "Point."

"We only have to go deep enough underground to get under the rocks blocking us in," Alanza said.

"That's if the cave-in only affected our area and didn't take out the rest of the tunnel," Edward said darkly.

"One way to find out," the other Edward said, sounding about as optimistic as Edward himself felt.

"Transmuting the rock might disrupt the rest of the rocks, though," Edana pointed out. "I... really don't want any more rocks dumped on my head, it hurts enough as it is."

"The rocks don't hurt us," the other Edward said, with a hollow sound following the statement. Edward imagined he was rapping his chest. "If the three of us stand over you three, you should be safe."

"As long as our blood seals aren't damaged," Alphonse said.

"Shall we try it?" the other Alphonse asked.

"Better to die by cave-in than starvation," Edana said grimly.

Alphonse lit a match so they could all shuffle into position without stepping on each other. The three alchemists huddled into a circle, with the three suits of armor standing over them as best they could.

Alphonse dropped the match and it fizzled out. "Ready?" he asked.

"Let's do this," Edana said, as Edward answered "If you are."

There was a second of silence, and Edward sensed that Edana was looking at him. Wow, this was weird.

Then, as one, the three clapped and slammed their hands onto the stone floor.


	3. Chapter 3

Edward sprawled out on the grass, taking deep breaths of the clean air and never being so grateful to see dawn in his life.

It had taken them all night to get out, if not longer. Time lost all sense in that wretched cave. He was never going to set foot in a mineshaft or tunnel again.

"'Niisan? Are you okay?" Alphonse loomed over him and Edward opened his eyes.

"I'm fine, Al-" he started to say, stretching and lolling to the left. Then he solidly cracked heads with Edana, who was doing the same, only in an opposite direction. "OW! GODDAMMIT!"

Edana rolled away, clutching her head and swearing right back at him colorfully.

The other Alphonse sat up and rolled his eyes at them both. Then he turned his gaze to the suits of armor. He glanced from one to the other, then frowned. "There's no way to tell who is who," he said.

"What?" Alanza sounded indignant. "I don't look a thing like those two!"

The other two sets of armor glanced at each other, and then at Alanza. They were all identical, down to the color of the apron.

"Okay, there's one way to tell who is who," Alphonse corrected himself dryly. "But there's no way visually to distinguish each one of you."

"Do we have to worry about this right now?" Edward asked, his head throbbing.

"Yeah. I want a shower." Edana wriggled in the grass, then lifted her right arm in the air and twisted it a few times, before frowning and sitting up.

"What's wrong, 'neesan?" Alanza asked.

"Something's off."

Edward propped himself up on his elbows, now curious. It hadn't occurred to him that the female version of himself would have automail, although it made sense. Edana tugged off her red coat and rolled up the arm of her black jacket to frown at her automail. Then she glared at Edward. "What?"

"What?" Edward responded.

"Why are you staring at me? Are you some kind of pervert?"

Edward flushed angrily. "I am NOT a pervert," he snarled at her.

The other Alphonse rolled his eyes again. "We came out the same side we went in," he observed, changing the course of the conversation.

"We could probably get back to Resembool before lunch," Alanza said. "It would also be the easiest way to figure out whose world we're in."

There was a thought that hadn't occurred to Edward. There was a strong chance that they weren't in their own world. They could be in Edana's world, or the other Alphonse's.

"That's a good idea," the other Edward said, standing up and clanking at the same time. "Pinako-baachan and Winry's would be the safest place to go first."

"Winry?" Edana repeated, before a light clicked in her head and she snickered.

"What?" Alphonse asked.

She waved her hand for a second. "Sorry. It makes sense, since everything is reversed for you guys. Your Winry is probably our Winston."

"...Winston?" Edward repeated, then snorted himself.

"We call him Winnie," Alanza supplied helpfully. "Although, he doesn't seem to like it very much."

"Well, whoever we end up seeing, they can probably fine-tune Edana's automail," the other Alphonse said. He got to his feet, then stretched his arms over his head. "Let's get moving."

Edward bounded to his feet, scowling at Alphonse. "Who said you were in charge, Al?"

Alphonse shrugged. "Didn't seem like anyone had taken charge-" he started, when Edana clambered to her feet and glowered at them both. "Who said that either of YOU two get to lead?"

The Alphonse in armor got in the middle of the triangle of glares, desperately trying to play peacemaker. "NO ONE's in charge yet," he soothed. "We'll find out whose world this is, then whoever is native will be in charge."

"That sounds fair," Alanza said, also trying to mediate. "'Neesan, stop stomping around. You're tired anyway."

Oh, this was going to be a long trip...


	4. Chapter 4

Winry Rockbell was rewiring the kitchen. With patients few and far between in the small town of Resembool, she had to keep herself occupied somehow. And her grandmother had banned her from the lab again.

The interior lights in the kitchen had been acting oddly, so she decided to fiddle with them and perhaps fix the problem. Two hours later she was completely rewiring the place.

Den lay by the far wall, fast asleep. Winry leaned back to reach some pliers when the dog abruptly woke up. He stretched, then barked. "Den?" Winry asked, when the dog turned and bolted out the open kitchen door.

Exasperated, Winry got to her feet. The dog was getting old, now, and wasn't that excitable. They must have company. Really, Den only kicked up that much of a fuss when Ed and Al stopped by ... but they just left three days ago for Central.

"Den!" She followed the dog to the door, and stopped. Sure enough, there was Edward and Alphonse, coming up the path as if they hadn't just left a few days prior. She stood in the doorway, hands on her hips and an irritated expression on her face. If he'd managed to bang up her top-notch automail already, she'd have his head.

"Edward Elric, you better not have messed up your arm already," she shouted at him, waving a wrench threateningly in his direction. To her surprise, both of the Elrics stopped dead. Oh, that was an admission of guilt if she'd ever seen one. She stomped out the door and straight toward them.

Den had already reached Edward and was barking joyfully. He patted the dog on the head distractedly, watching Winry come straight towards him. What, wasn't he going to run? That was his usual response.

As Winry stomped closer, she saw Alphonse. Their Al. In the flesh. Abruptly she slowed, staring in confusion at Alphonse next to Edward, and the other Alphonse walking towards them. That Alphonse was arguing animatedly with some blonde girl dressed similarly to Edward. As if that wasn't bizarre enough, two more Alphonses followed them.

She stopped walking and waved her wrench distractedly at the … copies? "What…? Al…?"

"I'm right here, Winry," Alphonse said quietly, from beside Edward.

"But… what…?" She shook her head animatedly. "I don't… understand… "

The unknown girl shrugged at her. "Neither do we. You're Winry, I take it."

Winry nodded, glancing at Edward for help. "Ed… what's… going on?"

He just shrugged at her.

Winry couldn't believe it. She tried, several times, to make sense of it, but each time her brain just told her not to bother. There were six Elric siblings running around the place. As if two weren't bad enough.

She frowned at Edana. This female version of Ed had somehow managed to screw up her automail, and Winry was tempted to take a wrench to her for it. Fortunately the repairs were minor at best and didn't require removing the arm.

However, when Edana had first asked Winry to take a look at it, she managed to traumatize all the other Elrics. She had taken off her inner jacket, of course, and then without hesitating, started to take off her tube top.

Winry had never seen a room clear faster of male presence. Alanza still stood there, waving her arms frantically at Edana while Winry simply facepalmed.

The funniest bit about it, though, had been the fact that Edana was genuinely puzzled. "Winnie always has to have me take it off to work on the automail," she told Winry while Winry worked on her arm. "It usually covers half the socket, and it's just in the way."

"Yes," Winry had said patiently. "But that's only in front of, well… you're world's version of me. Who is essentially a mechanical doctor for you."

"And Alanza," Edana said.

"The POINT is that you don't just start to strip in front of a room full of guys," Winry said, tightening one of the screws. "There. How's that feel?"

Edana rotated her arm a few times, swinging it experimentally. "That's excellent. Thanks." She stood up and started pulling her top back on. "I still don't get why they were so freaked out, though," she told Winry, folding her black jacket over one arm. "We're all related anyway."

"It's just weird," Winry told her. "And it freaks them out. So just be careful about dressing around them, okay?"

Alanza followed Edana out as Winry put the rest of her tools away. She rolled her eyes as she heard Alanza's voice raise. "NO, you can't flash them for fun. Stop it, 'neesan."

"Al, you never let me have any fun," she heard Edana complain.

While Edana was having her automail looked at, Edward, the flesh Alphonse and the other Edward were sparring on the front lawn. Her Alphonse was checking on Paw-paw, the cat they had brought Winry and her grandmother the last time they had come back from Central. Since they'd been gone, the cat had her kittens.

It was madness, plain and simple.

None of the sets of Elrics had any explanation for their sudden predicament. While their experiences were not all the same, the fact remained that they had all been in that cave at the same time and nearly been buried alive. Maybe it was something about the mountain?

"Hey, Winry!"

She moved to the window, to glance down at the rolling front lawn. Edward was waving up at her, down to his tank top and a pair of shorts that had better not have been his boxers. If he was running around in his underwear again…

"If you and Edana are done up there, you should come out here! Pinako-baachan made sandwiches!"

"Right," she called back down to him. He waved again, and then was tackled from the side by the other Alphonse. The pair went over, struggling.

They had taken next to no time at all to get used to these bizarre circumstances, that was for sure. Of course, they could be taking out all of their worry and frustrations physically, that would explain the fervor with which they were currently sparring. Her stomach rumbled, reminding her exactly how long it had been since breakfast. Winry dropped her wrench on the workbench and went out to join them.


	5. Chapter 5

Edward leaned against the back of himself, only encased in armor. He was exhausted, grimy and sweaty, and was currently stuffing his face. He swallowed a second sandwich in two bites and took a deep breath. His head was clear at last.

Abruptly, the Edward trapped in the armor moved forwards, which caused Edward to slide to the side. He whuffed as he hit the ground, not expecting the sudden movement. The noise caught his other self's attention and he half turned. "I didn't know you were back there."

"'S'all right," he muttered, rolling back into a sitting position. "Sorry, I shouldn't have been leaning on you like that. It's just that Al's always..…" He trailed off helplessly, then shrugged.

He felt awkward even talking to this version of himself. Edana there wasn't so much a problem with … they were essentially cut from the same mold, just from different sides of the gender barrier. This version of himself, though…

"No, it's all right." The armor shook its head. "Just warn me that you're back there… it would have been bad if I had decided to flop backwards."

Edward laughed despite himself. "Yeah, that would have sucked," he agreed. He spotted his Alphonse coming around the house and waved him over. "Al! We're gonna try to figure out what's going on!"

His little brother acknowledged him, taking something back into the house first. Winry wouldn't let them in the kitchen, she was apparently doing something in there. However, for some reason Alphonse got a free pass. "I'm not that destructive," Edward muttered.

"Yes, you are," Alanza said, sitting down.

Edward rolled his attention towards that suit of armor. "I am not," he insisted.

"What did you do the last time Mustang-taisa called you a bean?" The other Alphonse seated himself between Alanza and his own Edward.

"I –" Edward opened his mouth to make a smart retort, then remember that tantrum and a flush crossed his cheeks. "I… broke a chair," he muttered.

"See?"

He crossed his arms, put on his sulking expression, and flopped over to stare at the sky.

Edana and Alphonse joined them a few minutes later, Winry trailing and carrying a tray of drinks. "Brought some lemonade," she announced, kicking Edward in his good shoulder.

"OW! What was that for!"

Winry ignored him and he sat up, glowering at her and rubbing his now-sore left shoulder. Edana had rolled onto her stomach and had a book already open in front of her. "Hey, that's –" Edward started to protest, then realized how stupid that sounded and shut up.

"So, we're not dead," Alanza said helpfully.

"Thank you Al, master of the obvious," Edana said, flipping through a few pages.

"Why'd you bring the book out?" Alphonse clanked as he looked over her shoulder.

"No real reason." She closed it and shoved it forward. "Just nostalgia, I guess." Edward had to shift position to look at its cover, and shook his head, grinning slightly. It was their battered first alchemy book, something Winry had scrounged from the wreckage of their house. How it had survived the fire, he had never figured out.

"So," his other self said, shifting position. "Have any of you run across anything like this in your experience?"

"In experience, no," Edward shook his head. "I don't think I've ever read anything about phenomon like this, either."

"What about doppelgangers?" That was the flesh Alphonse.

Edana shook her head. "If that were the case, it would be an exact double and we'd be dead or insane. If you haven't noticed," she waved an arm over their group, "while we're all the same people, essentially, none of us are exactly alike."

"That's true," Alanza said. "I still think our initial idea's the right one, we're all just straight-out from different worlds."

"Then why are we all in one world, now?" that was the other Edward, his voice sounding even more distant than usual. He was staring up at the sky.

They were all silent. There really was no logical explanation that they could think to explain this mess. "What were we all doing at the mountain?" Edana asked.

"Going to Central, both Alphonses responded at the same time. "It was 'niisan's idea," they added, still in unison. They glanced at each other and laughed.

"Yeah, yeah." Edward muttered. "So, we were all in that cave hoping for a shortcut to get us back to Central quicker. What caused the cave-in, then?"

"the fact that the cave is generally not safe in the first place?" Winry suggested.

They all looked at Winry as if she'd grown a second head. She rolled her eyes at them. "Of course, it's not like the big, important alchemists have time to pay attention to small-time news. They were blasting in that mountain a few weeks ago, Some excitable miner thought he'd tapped another silver vein, but it was a false alarm."

She glanced around the ring of faces, and threw her arms up in the air. "You mean you guys didn't hear anything about this? It was all over the newspapers!"

Slowly, they all shook their heads. Winry groaned. "Of course."

"Anyway," the other Alphonse said, finishing off his lemonade to hide his embarrassment, "I guess it's safe to assume that we all used alchemy at the same time to shield ourselves from the falling rocks, right?"

They all nodded. "Except, one of the smaller rocks got through." Edana rubbed the back of her head and winced slightly. Edward remember his own lump but resisted the urge to prod at it. "Then when I woke up, you two were already freaking out."

Edward shook his head. "The only thing I can think of is that the transmutation had something to do with it… but that makes no sense. It wasn't a complicated transmutation, or even a large one. Just a simple rock shield."

The armor Edward leaned forward. "You know what we're going to have to do, don't you?"

Alphonse caught it first. "We're going to have to go to Mustang-taisa."

"NO WAY," Edward and Edana shouted at the same time. They both turned to glare at the armor version of themselves as if it had betrayed their core principles right then and there. "What the hell's wrong with you?"

"No, he's right." Alanza sounded thoughtful. "There would be more resources in Central, anyway. I'd imagine having that vast library system at our fingertips would be useful."

"We're not going begging to that bastard colonel for help," Edana snarled, crossing her arms and daring someone to disagree with her.

Unfortunately, Alphonse took up that challenge easily enough. "He's going to find out anyway. It's not like any of you are subtle,"

"Hey!" Edward sounded offended.

"It's probably wise to keep a low profile," the other Alphonse said. "I think Edward and Alphonse should go to Central to get Mustang-taisa's aid. The rest of us should stay here, where we won't attract as much attention. That is, if it's all right with Winry and Pinako-baachan."

Winry shrugged. "It's fine with me, as long as you four pull your shares and don't eat all of our food." She frowned more at Edana than at Alphonse.

Edward nodded. As much as he didn't want to get Mustang involved in all of this, that was probably the best plan. However, Edana didn't sound happy. "I don't want to be cooped up HERE," she snorted. "We'd be so much more effective in Central, looking for leads."

"I agree," the armor Edward said. "But, first we have to be subtle. THEN we can blow things up."

"I like the way you think," Edward said with a shark-like grin.

"There will be no blowing things up," Alphonse said firmly.

In response, Edward glanced at Edana and the other Edward. They all clapped and slammed their hands onto the grass, throwing up small explosions of dirt straight into Alphonse's face.

"AUGH! That's playing DIRTY!"

Winry got up and fled back towards the house as a full-out sibling brawl developed. The last thing she needed was to accidentally get crushed by a flailing suit of armor.

"'That's playing dirty'?" Edana snorted, one arm supporting Alphonse as he limped back towards the house.

"That's me, master of bad puns," he muttered, gingerly trying to put weight on his automail and it refusing to respond. "What's the chance that Winry won't kill me?"

"Sorry Al, it's your funeral, not mine," Edward said from his other side.

"Great," Alphonse muttered.

They were almost inside the door when the broom came at their heads. Edward saw this coming and managed to duck, the bristles whistling over his hair by millimeters. Alphonse and Edana, however, were not so lucky.

"AUGH!" Alphonse shouted, getting a face full of broom.

"OUT!" Winry shouted right back at them. "OUT, OUT, OUT, OUT!"

"It's not my fault!" Edward said. "I didn't break MY automail!"

Winry stopped swinging the broom, a very familiar look in her eye. "What?" she asked, her voice dangerous. "What did you say?"

Belatedly, Edward realized that they were getting swatted for being walking piles of dirt and grime. Edana seemed to realize the same thing. They glanced at each other, then, as one, they slid out from under Alphonse's shoulders and shoved him at Winry.

Alphonse gave a startled shout as he toppled forwards. However, Edward and Edana were already out the door and out of wrench-vengeance range. "Sorry, Al!" Edward tossed over his shoulder.

Alphonse balanced himself in the doorway, looking as sheepish as he could as Winry loomed over him. "BROKE your automail?" she repeated.

"I don't think it's broken," he said in a hurry. "I think maybe it's a screw or three loose…"

Alphonse's resulting yelp of pain could be heard halfway down the hillside.

The three suits of armor were visiting the kittens when Edward and Edana walked around the side of the house. Alphonse glanced up first. "What was that shout?" he asked.

"Winry's vengeance," Edward said.

"Ooo," the other Edward winced. "Poor Al."

"Just a warning," Edana said, "but you three might want to rinse off before you try to go back inside. Winry's wielding a broom of bristly destruction."

"Warning noted, 'neesan. What about you and 'niisan?"

Edward blinked at Alanza. "Excuse me?"

Alanza pointed at Edana. "'Neesan," she explained patiently. She pointed at him. "'Niisan." Then she pointed at the Edward armor. "Niichan."

"Waitasec," the armor-bound Edward said. "Why am I -chan?"

"Hey, that's a good idea, Alanza," Alphonse said, pointing at the other Edward. "'Niichan."

"WHY AM I STUCK WITH THE –CHAN!"

"Because 'niisan would blow an exceptional gasket at any reference to being short," Alanza said helpfully.

"WHO'S SO SMALL THAT HE'S IGNORED IN DIRECT CONVERSATION!"

"See?" Alanza stood up. "'Niisan, you're disturbing the kittens."

Edward was about to yell again, then realized that he was faced with at least two unhappy suits of armor, and one still flailing at being called 'chan'. He decided to cut his losses at that. "Come on," he muttered to Edana. "The shower's on the other side of the house, anyway."

"I know that," Edana said smartly. She looked irritated too.

As they passed under the open window to Winry's lab, they heard Alphonse. "But it really WASN'T my – OWWW! … fault…"


	6. Chapter 6

Their course of action decided, Edward and Alphonse left that night for Central. There was a redeye train straight to the military's capital at one in the morning. It was little trouble to flash some State ID to get on without actually having to pay for tickets.

The car that the Elric brothers boarded was completely empty. Edward stretched out on his seat, pillowing his head in his arms and yawning hugely. "Now THIS is the way to travel," he muttered. "We should take late trains more often."

"What are we going to tell Mustang-taisa?" Alphonse asked. Edward frowned, not wanting to think about it and just wanting to sleep. "I don't know, Al. It's not like it's the sanest story in the world … I wouldn't believe it unless I saw it."

"Should we have brought them with us?" Alphonse asked.

Edward shook his head. "No, not all of them." He said. "One of you draws enough attention as it is. Three identical suits of armor and someone will think we're trying to start an army."

Alphonse nodded thoughtfully. Edward rolled on the seat so his back was towards his brother. He pulled at his red coat and yawned noisily. "Now, Al, I gotta sleep. The last thing I need to do is fall asleep in the middle of a report to …" He yawned again. "…that bastard…colonel.."

Alphonse watched as his brother sank into a very deep sleep. He shook his head, then asked quietly. "'Niisan?"

No response. He got up carefully, but there was no need. When Edward was tired, he was all but dead to the world. Alphonse walked carefully towards the back end of the train car, then crouched down and opened his chest plate.

Edana rolled out of his chest cavity, red coat flapping behind her. "Auuugh, fresh aaaaaair," she said, seating herself in the aisle and starting to stretch her legs.

Alphonse shook his head at her. "I can't believe you talked me into this, 'neesan," he wasn't quite whispering, but he wasn't talking at full volume, either. No use taking chances.

"You heard him yourself," Edana was stretching her arms out, now. "The other Edward was the one who thought of it, first. I mean, the colonel won't believe us without proof. What better proof than one of us?"

"I still don't like sneaking around behind 'niisan's back," Alphonse said.

Edana shrugged. "He'll get over it. Alphonse'd probably have done it, except the idea of climbing inside of you weirded him out way more than he was willing to admit."

Alphonse didn't voice it, but he agreed. The thought of himself … the real him, flesh and blood… hiding inside of this false metal body that he still inhabited? It weirded HIM out the more he thought about it. He pushed the thought aside.

"That doesn't change the fact that 'niisan will be really angry when he wakes up."

"As I said before, he'll have to deal with it. I know I'd be pissed off if I was in his place, but nothing can be done about it now. Anyway, he's not going to find out."

"…what do you mean, he's not going to find out?"

"He'll sleep straight through to Central, just like I would. It's, ah, what? Five hours, maybe bordering on six? You'll have to wake him up before we pull into the station. You wake me up first, I go back to being Ed-in-a-can, and we go see the taisa."

"I thought you didn't like "all this sneaking around," Alphonse said.

Edana got up on one of the benches, stretching out and pillowing her head on her left arm. "I don't. But, the face on taisa when I pop out of your chest cavity is worth it."

"Yes, because we all know that your one goal in life is to terrorize Colonel Mustang," Alphonse said dryly, rolling his eyes. It was useless, though, because Edana was already snoring.

"Oyasumi, 'neesan," he muttered, already wishing he was back in Resembool.

* * *

"What do you MEAN, Edana's gone?" Winry said.

"She went with 'niisan and Al," Alanza said primly.

"No, she didn't," Winry said. "I watched them leave. The TWO of…" it dawned on her. "She was INSIDE ALPHONSE!"

"Please don't yell," Alphonse begged her, nursing several goose eggs on his head.

She shot a glare at him and he shut up. "I can't believe you… any of you!" she waved a wrench threateningly at the three assembled Elric siblings. They all flinched, even though the only one who would take damage was Alphosne.

Winry threw her arms up in the air in exhasperation. "I'm going to bed," she announced to the ceiling. "Maybe life will be sane in the morning."

"Fat chance," Edward muttered as she passed. The wrench knocked his head clean off and into the other room.


	7. Chapter 7

Dawn was just beginning to creep over the slanted rooftops of Central when the Elric-Kyoudai stepped off of the late train. Edward scratched at his throat, yawned, then stretched his arms out above his head.

"How did you sleep, 'niisan?" Alphonse asked, stopping short slightly behind his older brother. Edward scratched the back of his head and failed to stifle another yawn.

"Not enough," he muttered bitterly, glancing blearily around the platform. There were a handful of the familiar blue military uniforms, but no one that Edward recognized. Mustang knew that they were supposed to be heading back to Central, but sometimes there was no telling if he knew when they arrived or not. Due to the lack of escort, Edward was supposing "not". He headed towards the nearest exit off the platform. Alphonse, who was still looking around, eeped and followed him.

Edward stomped down the stairs out onto the street. "How much do you want to bet that smug bastard is still in bed?" Edward punctuated that statement with another yawn, better suppressed than the last. He lightly smacked himself in the face. "I need coffee. And more sleep."

"We can find a coffee shop easily enough," Alphonse clanked along behind him as Edward stalked purposefully in one direction. Alphonse glanced at the sky, wondering if his brother knew that he was going the direction directly opposite headquarters. Deciding that it wasn't the time to question his older brother's sense of direction, he instead pointed out a nearby coffee shop. "See? There's one."

"Perfect." Edward veered in that direction. The coffeehouse was rather busy, despite the earlyness of the hour (or perhaps because of it). In spite of that, it took Edward no time at all to get a warm drink and something to eat.

It was going to be a gorgeous day. The rising sun had turned the clouds that skidded along the horizon a dark shade of rose. With the exception of that sparse cloud cover, the sky was clear. Edward and Alphonse sat outside, on one of the many public benches that lined the boulevard. All around them, people just beginning their day hurried along.

Edward watched the people around them as he gnawed at his breakfast, some soft, warm bread from the coffee shop. Alphonse shifted nervously every so often, moving his weight around. Edward finished his breakfast, then sat back, looking up at the early morning sky. "…Shouldn't we get going?" Alphonse asked. He shifted oddly when Edward turned toward him.

Edward stared at him for a long moment. Then he shook his head and sighed, rolling his eyes heavenward. "All right, Al. Let's see it."

"What?" Alphonse squeaked.

The older Elric brother settled all the way on the bench, hooking his arms over the back and looking sidelong at Alphonse. "The cat, Al. You obviously picked up a stray again when I wasn't paying attention. So let's see it."

Alphonse squeaked again, then shook his head emphatically. "No, no, you're wrong, 'niisan!"

"I'm not stupid, Al. And you know how that bastard colonel gets whenever you bring cats with you into the base. So let's see what you picked up this time."

Alphonse flailed mentally for a second. "Uhh… you can't!"

Edward stared at him. Well, at least he had gotten an admission out of Alphonse that he had picked up something. It did explain his odd behavior, even this early in the morning it was rather hard to miss. "I can't?"

"Yeah. Uh … she's very shy!"

This time Edward blinked. "'She?'" he repeated mildly.

Alphonse would have bitten his tongue, had he one. He couldn't believe he'd already let slip that something was wrong, but Edward noticed. It was hard for him to slip anything by his brother, especially when he was an unwilling accomplice. "Yeah … yeah! I've decided it's a girl-kitten. And, she's really shy AND asleep right now, so you can't see her." Not for the first time, Alphonse tried to do his puppy-dog eyes. "Please, 'niisan … let her alone. She won't make any trouble."

His older brother shook his head. "I am NOT getting fried by Mustang because you couldn't leave a stray alone. Let her loose."

"Right NOW!"

"Yes, right now." Edward was starting to look irritated. "There isn't that much traffic yet, so she won't get trampled. Plus, if you're quick no one will see inside your armor. Let the stupid cat out so I know that you won't try to sneak it onto the base."

Alphonse hesitated, and Edward started to glower at him. "If you don't let that cat loose, I'm going to transmute you open," he threatened.

As Alphonse started to unhook his chest piece, a car rumbled up behind them. Edward glanced back over his shoulder in surprise, and Alphonse quickly hooked his chest piece back.

The back door opened, and both the siblings could see inside the old black car. "Well, well. Look who finally appeared in Central," Colonel Roy Mustang said, managing to smother the yawn that started before it could badly compromise his image.

"Colonel," Edward all-but growled. Alphonse glanced at the sky, certain he was sitting in a beam of light.

"Get in, Fullmetal," Mustang said. "Might as well get the fun stuff out of the way first, don't you agree?"

Edward snarled something unintelligible to himself as he stood, and Alphonse followed him around to clamber into the car. Edward pinned Alphonse with a glare as they all smashed together in the backseat, then Edward climbed up (making sure to plant a boot somewhere on Mustang, sure to leave a boot-print), and over the back of the front seat. "'Morning, Lt. Hawkeye," he said, much more pleasantly.

"Good morning, Edward," Riza Hawkeye said pleasantly, glancing in the rear-view mirror. "And to you too, Alphonse. Back to base, sir?"

"Yes, lieutenant," Mustang said, crossing his arms and frowning at the back of Edward's head. The car rumbled noisily up the street.


	8. Chapter 8

Roy Mustang severely disliked mornings. In fact, he wouldn't be averse to saying he outright hated them. He stared at the steaming cup of coffee on his desk and wondered briefly if Hawkeye had brewed it. He certainly hoped that was not the case, but all the same, it was hot and it was caffinated. Taste didn't matter that much…. Right?

He was studiously ignoring the Elrics. Instead, he glanced at the small pile of reports sitting on his desk. He frowned at the reports, sifting through them idly. Edward was tense, so that meant that something had happened … usually bad. That was not something that Mustang wanted to hear first thing in the morning, but there was hardly any way of getting around it. Finally he shuffled the papers together and made a show of straightening them. He glanced up, meeting Edward's eyes.

"You're four days later than I expected," he said.

"We were delayed," Edward fired back.

"In Resembool, I suspect," Mustang said promptly.

"You'd be right," Edward ground out.

Mustang hesitated, surprised at the admission. The mess must be worst than expected, for Edward to concede a point so early. "Why the delay?"

Now Edward hesitated. "It's … kind of hard to believe," he started out slowly. Mustang raised an eyebrow, folding his hands before his face to hide his amused grin. When Edward prefaced something with "kind of hard to believe", he wouldn't be surprised if the boy spoke of uncovering a long-extinct race or finding a flying machine … the Elrics had a tendency to get their hands into unbelievable things of those caliber.

He still hesitated, which made Mustang worried. Alphonse coughed, which had to have been designed to draw their attention since he didn't technically breath. Then he rapped his chest twice, when Edward's attention still was not drawn to him. Alphonse glanced helplessly at the colonel … Edward was still trying to find a proper way to phrase it. With a sigh, Alphonse shifted and started to unhook his chest plate. "'Niisan," he said softly. "Why don't we just show Colonel Mustang?"

THAT got Edward's attention. "What?" he snapped, turning around violently in his chair to face Alphonse. He already had his chest plate off, though, and Mustang's eyebrows shot through the ceiling as a red-and-blonde blur shot out of Alphonse's chest cavity.

The blonde crouched on the floor for a second, gloved hands splayed out in front while Edward shouted "What the HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!"

Mustang watched, somewhere between amused and horrified, as Edward turned on Alphonse, shouting something about betraying him. However, his attention quickly shifted to the newcomer, who straightened and doubled over backwards, presumably working out the cricks from being stuffed inside of Alphonse's chest cavity. They were dressed almost identically to Edward, with small changes in the outfit here and there. However, as Mustang's gaze traveled up further, he realized there was at least one big difference.

She propped her hands on her hips and gave him a large grin … a grin that Mustang had seen several times before. "My name is Edana Elric," she announced. "But I'm known as the Fullmetal Alchemist."

Roy was going to need a lot more coffee.


	9. Chapter 9

"So you're saying," Roy Mustang said, his hands folded in front of his face and not quite hiding the disbelief evident there, "That this girl … is you?"

Edward Elric leaned backwards into the couch, scrubbing both gloved hands over his face and letting out an exasperated groan. "How many times do we have to go over this?"

"Until it makes some kind of sense," Mustang said, not unreasonably.

Edana was seated next to Edward, both her legs and her arms crossed. She was glaring at Mustang with a venom that usually only Edward was capable of. "Look, I don't see what's so hard about all of this."

Alphonse was standing behind the couch, leaning against the wall and very, very glad not to be included in the current conversation. He knew his time would come once they got this through Mustang's head. They still had to explain about the other Edward and Alphonse. That was going to be even more fun, if this was any indication.

Mustang took a deep breath, shaking his head again in disbelief. "It's completely impossible," he said. "I've never heard of anything like it before."

"Clearly, it's not impossible," Edana said dryly. "None of us have ever heard of anything like it, which is why we need all the help we can get." She sat forward. "Al and I want to get home as quickly as possible, and I'm sure the others feel the same."

"'Others?'" Mustang had a sudden disturbing mental image of an entire army of variations of Edward and Alphonse. He shuddered, and decided he didn't want to know just yet.

Edward was scowling at Edana. Once Mustang was certain he wasn't hallucinating a female version of Edward, they had turned on each other and had a shouting match that brought Hawkeye into the room, pistol drawn. After sorting the two of them out (and insuring that if any blood was going to be shed, Hawkeye would be doing it by putting a bullet into somebody), they had finally gotten some questions answered.

Of course, those answers led to many more questions.

Edward glanced back at Roy, then nodded sharply, once. "There's another set of Al and I back home," he said, stopping it at that. Clearly there as more to it, but as much as Mustang wanted to dig deeper and needle Edward just a little more, he could already feel quite the headache starting. He left it at that.

"This entire matter is quite disturbing," Mustang finally said, sitting back in his chair and studying the pair of them. The similarities were disturbing, and the differences few and far between. "What do you plan to do?"

"Research," Edward and Edana said in unison. Their identical expressions and tone of voice disturbed him far greater than any physical similarities. They glanced at each other in surprise, then frowned.

"I don't know if you should be anywhere near the library," Edward said, still frowning.

"I'm as much of a State Alchemist as you are," she snorted at him. "I certainly know my way around Central's library system. Between the two of us, we should be able to turn up any material on the matter."

"I don't know if that's a wise idea," Mustang said thoughtfully. "…I think I know where Edward is coming from on this."

Edana glanced between the two of them, still frowning. "What do you mean?"

"There aren't that many State Alchemists," Edward said. "I think they'd notice if there were two of us in the same place. It looks rather suspicious for me to suddenly develop a twin sister, don't you think?"

"Idiots," Edana said. "Did you really think I intended to parade around Central right next to you? There's more than one branch to the Central library system. We systematically hit each branch. From enough of a distance, they won't question that I'm you, and as long as we're not together we should be able to pull it off."

Mustang nodded. "That could work."

"What do you mean, "could"?" Edana huffed at Mustang. "Of course it'll work."

"You'll have to wear a different top," Mustang said, trying not to look at Edana's chest at that statement. "But you are small-chested enough that no one will think to look clos—"

"'WHO'S SO SMALL-CHESTED THAT THEY GET MISTAKEN FOR A GUY!" Edana bellowed, on her feet in an instant.

Edward, who hadn't been expecting the outburst, toppled slightly to the side. Then he did a bad thing. He snickered.

Edana whirled on him. "What are you laughing at, _little _man?"

"WHO'S SO SMALL THAT THEY GET LOST IN THE SEAT CUSHIONS!" Edward bellowed, now also on his feet.

Mustang winced, and the door opened smartly. Hawkeye stood there, pistol in hand and a foul expression on her face. "You two are quite loud," she said, cocking her pistol.

Edward and Edana glared at each other for a second then turned their backs to the other, crossing their arms and adopting identical sulking expressions.

If Mustang hadn't been concerned that Hawkeye would shoot either one, the situation would have been quite funny. As it was, it was all he could do to keep a straight face while ordering Hawkeye out of his office.

"Well," he said, coughing once into his hand. "It looks like you have some semblance of a plan. Why don't you get started on your research, and report back to me in the late afternoon? I'm sure someone will find something of value by then."

Edward turned and shot Mustang such a Look. "We'll see, then," he muttered, turning on his heel and stomping towards the door. Edana scowled at Edward's back, but followed him. Alphonse turned and bobbed his head at Mustang. "Thank you, Colonel," he said, before hurriedly following his siblings out.

Mustang sat back in his chair, glancing at the ceiling. He was still asleep, that was the only explanation for it. That decided, he glowered at his paperwork and contemplated setting it on fire. It was only a dream, after all.


	10. Chapter 10

Alphonse was closing the doors to Colonel Mustang's office behind them when Edana finally spoke again. "Yanno," she said, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "Your colonel is really kinda hot."

Edward had glanced over his shoulder at her when she started to speak, and the rest of her statement made him miss the door by about two steps to the left. He swore to himself, then swore at the wall.

Havoc, being the only other person in the outer office besides the Elrics and Hawkeye, burst out laughing. Alphonse hurried over to Edward's side. "'Niisan! Are you all right!"

Edward straightened himself out, dusted his jacket off, then turned completely around and leveled a finger at Edana. "That was NOT funny," he told her.

"It is from where I'm standing," she snickered at him.

Hawkeye frowned at them both as the phone on her desk rang. She let it ring once more before picking it up, now ignoring the quarreling siblings.

Edward made a show of dusting off the sleeve of his jacket, then shot a withering glare at Havoc, who was still laughing. "It wasn't that funny," he muttered.

Hawkeye cleared her throat, and Edward glanced at her, surprised. She held the phone's receiver out towards him. "It's for you," she said simply, then glanced at Alphonse, eyebrow arching. "It's … your brother."

Havoc stopped laughing.

Edward quickly took the phone from her, trying to ignore the not-so-furtive curious looks that Havoc was sending in his direction. "Yes?"

It was Alphonse. "Haa, good. I'm glad that the phone numbers didn't change," he said by way of greeting.

"What do you want?" Edward asked, irritated. Having to deal with Mustang for any extended period of time tended to grate on his nerves anyway, and Edana's surprise presence hadn't helped matters much.

"My, you're in a foul mood," Alphonse sounded far too cheerful. Edward gritted his teeth, opening his mouth to retort something presumably acidic back. "Doesn't matter, though. I'm about to make your mood worse."

Edward's jaw clicked back together. He didn't like the sound of that. "What?"

"We're at Central Station, and could use a pick-up."

"YOU'RE WHERE!"

Edward's outburst drew everyone's attention to him. "'Niisan?" his Alphonse asked worriedly, as Mustang opened his office door.

"What exploded—ah, Fullmetal," Mustang glanced at Hawkeye, who shrugged at him. She was watching Edward unload quite a mouthful of invectives into the phone line. Mustang watched for a moment longer, then glanced at Alphonse. "What's going on, and do I want to know?"

Alphonse shrugged at him. "My best guess is that no one wanted to stay in Resembool," he said.

Edward slammed the phone down, and everyone turned to look at him. "Those IDIOTS," he seethed. "Why can no one stay PUT for two damn days?"

Edana had seated herself on Fury's desk. "Ah, so I take it the others got sick of being left behind, then?"

The blonde turned on her. "Were you IN on this?"

She crossed her legs primly. "Why, Edward, I'm insulted," She laughed when he turned easily as red as his coat. "I've been with you and Al this entire time, remember? Besides, I didn't think it was a smart idea for more than one of the armors to be paraded around Central."

"At least you have a modicum of sense," Edward growled.

"…more than one suit of armor…?" Havoc repeated, glancing from Edana, to Alphonse, and finally to Mustang. "…Boss?"

Mustang nodded solemnly then pointed at Havoc. "You'll drive them to the train station, then," he said. "I've got work to do."

Havoc paled at his tone. "But, Boss, what's goin' on…?"

"Also," Hawkeye said dryly, picking up her sheaf of papers and neatly straightening them. "I don't think that Ms. Elric would appreciate you staring at her rear like that."

Havoc was still trying to process the 'Ms. Elric' part of Hawkeye's sentence as Edana turned around with murder in her eye. "…what?"

Edward, who had been ranting at Alphonse about how he had better never pull anything like this, looked over when there was a solid-sounding crack. Havoc had disappeared behind the desk, and Edana was shaking her hand idly, as though she had hurt it punching something.

Her right hand.

Edward glanced at Hawkeye, mystified. Alphonse, who had heard the exchange despite Edward's tirade, simply shook his head. "Could we please, oh, I dunno, LEAVE to pick up the others?" he pleaded.

"Sounds like a plan," Edana said, hopping off the desk with a smile. Roy cocked an eyebrow, then walked around the desks to check on his subordinate.

"You can't go anywhere if your driver's dead," Mustang said idly, prodding Havoc's limp form with the toe of his boot.

"Aw, he's not dead," Edana said, waving a hand airily. "Maybe a little broken, but not dead. He's fine. He can still drive."

"'M fine…" Havoc muttered, rolling over. "Just five more minutes, mom…"


	11. Chapter 11

Roy wisely signed out a truck instead of one of the plain black cars that the military liked to conduct business in. Edward sat up front with Havoc, who was completely avoiding Edana.

Edana and Alphonse sat in the truck bed. Edana hooked her arms over the side of the truck bed and watched Central go past, wide-eyed and grinning. Alphonse shifted over to her side of the truck bed, curious. "You act as if you've never seen Central before," he said.

She shrugged. "It's not like I haven't," she said. "It looks exactly the same, and yet… it feels so different than home. It's like looking at a whole new city." She shook her head, blonde bangs flowing in the wind. "I can't describe it Al, sorry. It's just… new."

They rumbled to a stop in front of Central station. "Wait here," Edward said to Havoc, hopping out of the front seat.

"You're the boss," Havoc muttered. At least his nose had stopped bleeding. Havoc wondered if he'd ever be able to breathe through it again.

Edana hopped over the side of the truck to join Edward. She grinned at him, and was rewarded with a sour look. "Aw, don't be so upset," she said. "The whole point of this exercise is to be rid of us, remember?"

"I keep telling myself that," Edward said. At least, Edana noticed, he didn't look like he would strangle Al when he saw him like he was threatening to when they left headquarters. "And there he is… what the HELL is THAT?"

Alphonse was standing by one of the loading platforms, hands in his pockets and looking all together too pleased with himself. "Good morning, 'niisan," he said with a smile. "And to you too, 'neesan. Did you give the colonel a heart attack?"

"Not for lack of trying," Edana said, goggling. "What…is that what I think…"

Then, at the same time, Edward and Edana burst out laughing.

"Aw, you're hurt their feelings," Alphonse said, patting one of the two "statues" that were half-crated and seated on the platform beside him. "What do you think?"

Edward was doubled over from laughing, and Edana was leaning on his back, trying to keep her own balance. Tears of laughter were streaming down her face. "Al, that is the BEST THING I've ever SEEN!"

"I think," one of the statues said darkly, "that I'm going to kill each and every one of you in the most painful way I can think of."

That sent the pair of them into even more whooping laughter. "I think," Edward said between choked-back bouts of laughter, "we need to get Al … my Al … out here to help carry the … statues."

The curious passerby couldn't find a reason why the blonde pair thought the statues were so funny. They looked slightly strange, but not entirely bad. Once Edward had composed himself enough to not snicker as much, he walked around the crates, running his left hand over the surface. "You used clay?"

"Mostly. " Alphonse was seated on the edge of one of the crates. Edward hadn't bothered to ask which statue was which. "I thought it would look strange for more suits identical to your Al to be walking around Central. "

"I'm glad everyone has common sense, then," Edward said, as Edana and Alphonse came up the stairs.

"It was my "'niisan's idea," Alphonse continued, amused. "Although, I'm willing to bet he isn't as keen on it anymore."

"You'd be right," the statue under Edward's hand said gruffly.

Alphonse stopped short at the statues. "Oh, dear," he said. "Now I'm really, really glad the colonel signed us out a truck."

"The bastard probably already knew," Edward muttered. "Did you grab Havoc?"

"He was pulling down the ramp. How are we going to do this?" Edana started walking around the crates as well. "Nice work, Al," she said.

"Thanks," he said, patting the one he was perched on. "This one's your sister."

Edana immediately switched statues. "Hey, Al," she said. "You doing all right in there?"

"Hey, 'neesan," the Alanza statue said weakly. "Are we at headquarters yet?"

"We will be soon," Edana soothed. "Just a little while longer, okay?"

"Kay…" The Alanza statue didn't sound too strong. "I… can't see at all."

Alphonse looked concerned as he hopped down. ""Is she all right?" he asked Edana quietly.

"She better be," Edana growled at him, threat quite evident in her voice. "She doesn't like the dark."

Just then, Havoc appeared up the stairs, dragging a wheeled trolley behind him. "There's a ramp on the other side of the building," he announced, "before anyone decides to jump on me for grabbin' something with wheels.'

He stopped at the top of the steps, where the human Alphonse was goggling at him. "…what? Do I still got blood on my face?"

"I thought you said that Havoc was with you," Alphonse said to Edward, looking confused.

Edward blinked at him. "…he is."

Havoc looked from Edward to Alphonse. "Whuh?"

Alphonse stared at Havoc, then burst out laughing. He leaned back against the Alanza statue, laughing hard.

"Okay, I'm seriously missing something here," Edana said, raising her hand.

Havoc scratched the back of his head. "I've been missing something all day," he muttered. "Hey, Alphonse, help me lift this statue onto the trolley?"

"Hey," the Edward statue said, sounding confused. "Is that the bastard colonel?"

"No, 'niisan," Alphonse said, still choking back laughter. "I'll explain at the base."

Comprehension dawned on Edward's features, and he let out a disbelieving laugh. Edana propped her fists on her hips and glowered. "Care to let the rest of us in on the joke?"

Edward composed himself again. "Their Colonel Mustang must look like Havoc," he said, pointing at Havoc as he spoke.

"WHAT!" Havoc screeched, almost dropping his side of the crate.

"Don't drop me!" Alanza wailed.

By now the commotion had attracted some attention from curious passerby. The flesh Alphonse rapped on Alanza's statue after they put her onto the trolley. "IX-nay on the Alking-tay," he muttered. "We've drawn a crowd."

Edward darted off to grab another trolley as Havoc and the armor-bound Alphonse started maneuvering the cart towards the exit. Edana stood by the human Alphonse, amused. "So you mean to tell me, that your …" she glanced around, then dropped her voice. "Your world's Havoc is a dark-haired, dark-eyed guy?"

Alphonse nodded, amused. "He always gets all the dates, though … our Colonel is constantly tearing his hair out about it, too."

Edward returned then, cart in tow. "Let's get your brother out of here," he muttered, trying to ignore the people now moving about. He could hear some muttering about siblings and twins and it was beginning to grate on him.

"He's technically your brother too," Alphonse pointed out mildly, as he grabbed a corner of the crate. Edana grabbed the other side before Edward could come around, and when he gave her a Look she glowered at him.

Deciding it would be wisest not to say anything, Edward instead held the cart still as they hoisted the "statue" onto it. "Now, let's get out of here," Alphonse said, patting the side of the crate reassuringly. "And meet YOUR Colonel Mustang."


	12. Chapter 12

It was lunchtime before everyone had sorted themselves out. Edward and Alanza were very glad to be moving about on their own two legs again. However, the suits of armor had been restricted to Mustang's office and the general office of his subordinates to prevent confusion.

There was much confusion to be had, regardless. The human Alphonse managed to not laugh in Mustang's face the first time he saw him, much to the other Alphonse's relief. Edward might not have much regard for the Colonel, but Alphonse did have respect for the man. When they had returned back to the base, Hawkeye was in the middle of "convincing" the colonel that he wasn't in the middle of an elaborate dream. Such convincing apparently involved use of a firearm.

Once things were marginally sorted out, Edward, Edana and the human Alphonse vanished off to do some research, leaving Mustang to look after Alphonse, Alanza and the other Edward.

Roy shuffled his papers and tried to look busy. The armor-bound Edward unnerved him more than he wanted to admit. Both the Edward and Alphonse armors were seated in his office, back against the wall with several books out of the on-base library scattered around them. They were very busy and he didn't disturb them.

All the same, he found it distracting that there was two Alphonse-armors at work in his office, so he rose and headed towards the door.

Alphonse raised his head then. "Colonel?"

"Ah, I'll be back in a few minutes, Alphonse." He nodded at them, then slipped through the door.

Hawkeye glanced up at him and frowned as he closed the door behind him. "This is the third stroll you've taken this hour," she said pointedly.

"He's just nervous," Alanza said. She had been standing beside Fury and they had been talking about rewiring the radio he had in pieces on his desk.

"Excuse me?" Roy said, not expecting someone else to intrude into the conversation.

Alanza ducked her head, and Roy realized it was a small bow of apology. "Sorry, sir."

"Well, you're right," he said with a sigh, running one hand through his dark hair. "This entire situation is beyond me."

"I think it's beyond everyone, sir," Hawkeye said in her usual dry tone.

"You should try connecting those two," Fury said, drawing Alanza's attention again. She huddled over him, fiddling with the wires.

"Have you thought about where you're going to put them for the night?" Hawkeye asked, returning her attention to her typewriter.

"Where I'm going to put them for the night?" Roy repeated, slightly confused. "I thought they were going to-"

"They can't stay in the barracks," Hawkeye said calmly.

"They can't stay in the barracks," Roy repeated almost at the same time, the realization already dawning. "Dammit, where am I going to put them, then?"

Hawkeye smiled slightly. "I knew you wouldn't think about that," she said calmly.

"It would have to be someone trustworthy … someone off-base, but still close enough to the base that they could get to and from headquarters with very little problems…" Mustang was musing aloud, now.

"I took the liberty of calling someone who I thought would fit that description," Hawkeye told him. "They'll be in later this afternoon.

"Good, good," Roy said, very glad that he didn't have to think about it anymore. "I'm … I think I'm going to go for a short walk, Hawkeye."

"Yes sir," she said. "Don't forget, I need your reports signed off by five o'clock this evening, sir."

"Yes, yes, I won't forget." Roy paused at the door, glancing over in surprise when music abruptly blared from the formerly broken radio. "Right," Fury was saying. "See, I told you that you could fix things without resorting to alchemy!"

He shook his head and slide quietly out the door.


	13. Chapter 13

Mirror Thirteen 

The corner of the library that Alphonse had chosen was very well lit, if slightly dusty. He had stacked several heaps of books on his table, and was currently on his fifth or sixth book. The notebook he had fished out of his jacket pocket lay forgotten under three books, marked open to different spots.

The librarian had given him no trouble. In fact, she hadn't even stopped him as he hurried, by, waving his State Alchemist's watch at her. He was glad she hadn't stopped him … he had compared his watch with Edward's own and it bored a different emblem on its front. That worried him, it would make it very easy to screw things up very badly if anyone thought to check closely. However, Edward's appearance was somewhat known throughout Central, so no one gave a second thought to a blond in a red coat waving a State Alchemists' watch in a hurry.

He was having no luck at all. It was disgusting. Alphonse had long-since shied his red coat … it was a darker hue than the other two's coats, but still very red … and now he leaned back in his chair and stared blankly at the shelves of books that surrounded him.

It was quite disgusting. A whole library full of books, and he wasn't even sure where to start! He didn't dare ask the librarian, lest she look too closely at him. The first books he had gone through had seemed promising, but they spoke of crossing spiritual barriers and other religious and self-enlightening nonsense. He wasn't looking for that, he was looking for… well, check that. He wasn't sure what he was looking for.

The most promising texts so far were by someone named Dornkirk, but deeper reading into them revealed someone more interested in prognostication and the threads of fate. Unless the threads of fate could open up a pathway to Alphonse's home, he wasn't interested.

He stuck a pencil in his teeth and flipped determinedly through another book. Damn it, he wasn't going to give up that easily. Somewhere, in all the history of alchemy, this had to have happened to someone else!

----

Edana growled to herself, three books tucked under her arm and her stomach protesting loudly. She hadn't had breakfast today and she was starting to slow down because of it. Dammit, when Edward had been eating that warm bread this morning, it was all she could do not to transmute herself out of Alphonse and snatch the food out of his hands.

His face would have been priceless, had she actually done that. Amused, Edana entertained herself with that scenario as she headed back towards headquarters. There would be food there, and she'd run less a risk of running into civilians who might know Edward.

"Edward!"

SHIT! She glanced around the plaza quickly, hoping that maybe her erstwhile twin had entered on the other side, but she didn't see him. Maybe if she hadn't worn her red coat, she wouldn't have been as recognizable, but then it would have been next to impossible to easily get in to the library. That goal was more important than not having people's heads explode.

"Hey, Edward! Wait up a second!"

She sighed, slowing her pace and glancing over her shoulder. Some blonde guy was running towards her, books in his arms. Her eyebrow quirked involuntarily. This guy kind of looked like that Tringha-oh, no.

Edana turned forwards and considered running for it. There was no way she'd make it, though, before he caught up with her. She steeled herself and turned all the way around.

"Hey, Edward," Russell Tringham panted, grinning slightly. "Fletcher and I just made a quick stop here to grab some books and ingredients before we headed back to Xenotime and…"

Edana stood there, waiting for him to notice.

"And we, uh … uh…" Russell's eyes had traveled down and suddenly seemed stuck. "Uhhh…"

"You've got the wrong person," she supplied helpfully.

"I, uhh… I think I do…"

"Good. Now, stop staring at my chest and leave, please."

Russell nodded once, a very strange expression crossing his face. Edana didn't move until he had started to walk away, then she rolled her eyes heavenward. This better not happen often, or else she'd be forced to start punching people in the face.

That decided, she turned and hurried back towards headquarters. Man, she was starving.


	14. Chapter 14

Mirror Fourteen 

Edward was, not surprisingly, the last one back to headquarters. It was getting on toward early evening when he returned, pushing the door open wearily. He had tucked several books under his arm, and while his search had been unsuccessful, he had this odd feeling that there might just be an answer in one of the books he had with him.

Edana was seated on Breda's desk this time, cross-legged. Her red coat had been thrown haphazardly on the coat rack, and she had at least eight books open around her. A half-eaten sandwich from a local deli was balanced on her knee. She didn't look up when he shut the door behind him, but did reach for her drink.

One of the armors … Edward realized he had no clue which unless they spoke … was seated, leaning against Hawkeye's desk and was scribbling in a notebook.

Hawkeye was seated at her desk, typing up some of Mustang's reports, no doubt. As Edward shrugged off his own coat, he realized **another** of the armors was seated at Falman's desk and was also reading quietly.

The door to Mustang's office was propped open, so Edward stuck his head in. Roy was seated behind his desk, leaning back in the chair and reading something on a clipboard, twirling a pen between his fingers. His boots were up on his desk.

Alphonse was lying on the couch, a book held open over his head as if that angle would help him make sense of the page. The third armor was in here as well, seated in the armchair.

It was oddly quiet, save for the rustling of pages and mechanical clacks of typewriter keys. Mustang glanced up then, and saw Edward in the doorway.

"Ah, Fullmetal," he said, dropping his feet to the floor. "I was beginning to wonder if you'd been perhaps sucked back into one of their homes." He waved distractedly at Alphonse and the suit of armor.

"No such luck," Edward said, entering the room. Alphonse drew his legs up so Edward could seat himself on the couch, but didn't get up.

Edward dropped his books on the floor and took the offered space, relaxing into the soft couch cushions. "Augh," he muttered, feeling stiff. "They could at least pad some of the chairs."

"Agreed," Alphonse said, dropping the book heavily on his face. "Wake me tomorrow?"

Edward smacked Alphonse's knee. "No napping," he snorted.

"Says who?" Alphonse snorted from under his book.

"Says your older brother," Edward retorted, picking the book up off of Alphonse's face. His eyes traveled over the title and he shook his head, a grin playing across his features.

"What is it?" Roy asked from his desk. He had stopped reading to watch their interaction.

"Nothing," Edward shook his head again, then leaned forward. He plucked the fourth book he had dragged with him out of the pile and compared the two. "My copy's prettier," he decided, dropping the other book on Alphonse's stomach.

"No luck then, I take it," Roy said.

Edward shook his head. "Nothing. I don't understand it, this couldn't be the first time something like this has ever happened.""

"What if it is?" The armor finally spoke, and Edward was surprised to hear it was his Alphonse. "The first time something like this has happened, I mean."

"Then, we're royally boned," Edward announced, sitting back in the couch. "But we'll figure something out. Between the six of us, we have to think of **something**."

"Which reminds me," Roy finally put down his clipboard. "Hawkeye procured some lodgings for you."

"What, the barracks aren't good - we can't stay in the barracks," Edward cut himself off. "Too many unanswerable questions."

"Exactly," Roy nodded. "So, Hawke—"

Edana squawked.

Alphonse sat up as Edana tore into the room and vaulted behind the couch that Alphonse and Edward were seated on. "What the HELL?" Edward said, half-turning around.

"GREETINGS, multiple Alphonses!"

Edward stopped mid-turn and directed a glare toward Roy.

"Trustworthy," Roy started ticking off on his fingers. "Close to base. Plenty of room. Don't glare at me like that, Edward, it's Hawkeye's fault."

As Roy spoke, Alex Louis Armstrong made his grand entrance into Roy's office. "Greetings, multiple Elrics," he boomed, as if they hadn't heard his greeting to the "Alphonses.""I am –"

"They all know who you are," Roy interrupted Armstrong. Edana peeked over the back of the couch, scowling in his direction.

"Very good, then," Armstrong said, not missing a beat. "They must make haste, then! The cooks have almost finished preparing dinner!"

"Food?" Edana's head and shoulders appeared this time. "I could do with a proper meal."

Edward's stomach rumbled right then, and he scowled, then sighed. Looks like their evening wouldn't be dull.


	15. Chapter 15

Mirror Fifteen 

They took three separate cars to get to the Armstrong residence, so that anyone who saw them wouldn't think it odd. Edward settled back against the seat, frowning at the back of Havoc's head. He had never met Armstrong's family, and couldn't decide if this prospect was terrifying or not. However, Mustang had a point. They all couldn't stay at the barracks, and they needed to plan what they were doing and how they were doing it. It was hard to bounce ideas off the others if they had to do it by telephone … and there was no way of telling how secure said lines were.

"Did you find anything useful, 'niisan?" Alphonse finally asked him. Edward glanced at him, then shook his head.

"No, not yet," he said, frustrated. "What about you? Find anything at all?"

Alphonse shook his head, as well. "I talked with the other 'niisan …" he said slowly. Edward cocked an eyebrow, inviting Alphonse to go on. The suit of armor shifted slightly, then settled. "Their world is very different than ours," he decided at last.

Edward nodded. "We figured that out on the basis that the bastard colonel looks like that guy." He hiked his thumb at Havoc, who wasn't paying attention.

"That would be really weird," Alphonse said.

"Yah."

They both fell into silence, watching the dusk-swept streets fly by. The other Edward and Alphonse got to go the most direct route, since Alphonse didn't really look that much like Edward. Edana and Alanza rode with Hawkeye as their driver, and were taking a leisurely, roundabout route.

Soon enough, they pulled up to a …mansion. Edward looked up, and up …. Alphonse let out a low whistle, as they all slid out of the car. Havoc pushed his cap back up on his head, scratching his hair. "This is as far as I go," he said sheepishly.

Edward looked at him. "Why?"

Before he could answer, Armstrong flung open the front door. "GREETINGS, EDWARD ELRIC! AND GREETINGS, ALPHONSE ELRIC!"

It took effort not to roll his eyes. Edward nodded to Havoc, who was in the car before Armstrong could identify him. As he drove off, Hawkeye drove up.

"Timing," Edana said, leaning out the window "Is everything."

Edward waved a hand idly. "You call THAT timing?" he snorted. "You're late!"

"Late?" Edana repeated, kicking the door open. "We followed you in, buster."

Edward shrugged as Armstrong paraded himself down the steps. "NOW!" the tall man boomed, starting to flex under his dress shirt. Edward noticed that and paled. "Neither of you are late! The food has yet to be served!"

"Well, that's good," Edana said, her voice sounding dry. "Wouldn't want to miss dinner…"

"This way, this way!" Armstrong boomed, grabbing both Edward and Edana by the shoulders and steering them towards the house. Edward glanced over his shoulder at Alphonse. The armor exchanged a glance with Alanza, who was still climbing out of Hawkeye's vehicle, then shook his head.

Hawkeye smiled, shaking her head as well. "Don't let the Major drive you insane," she told Alanza, nodding at Alphonse as they followed Armstrong into the manor.

There was a petite young woman standing inside the foyer, hands clasped against her anything-but-petite chest. She was already sparkling. "You're here!" she said enthusiastically.

Edana had nowhere to go when the girl grabbed her arm. "Come on, we'll get you cleaned up!" she said happily, dragging a panicked-looking Edana after her.

Alanza came through the door behind Armstrong and saw her older sister being drug off. "Ah, 'neesan!" she said, edging around Armstrong to give chase.

"Uhh…" Edward said. "Who was that?"

"That was my little sister," Armstrong said proudly, and Edward was afraid to glance back at him in case the sparkles blinded him. "Katherine Elle Armstrong!"

"She's quite pretty," Alphonse said, closing the door behind him. "Uhh, Major, thanks for taking us all in like this…"

"Not a problem!" Armstrong boomed, throwing an arm over Alphonse's shoulders and clasping a hand on Edward's own shoulder. "The Armstrong Family has a STRONG tradition of sheltering those in need of housing!"

"That's… great…" Edward said, glancing around. "Did the … others … make it here all right?"

Armstrong nodded enthusiastically. "Yes. They are currently sitting with my father in his study. I'll take you there!"

----

Alphonse and Edward were indeed in the study. Alphonse was seated towards the middle of a long couch, his Edward between him and the armrest. He looked absolutely relieved that Edward and Alphonse had arrived.

A hugely corpulent man sat behind a desk. From what Edward could see of him, he resembled Armstrong if Armstrong let himself go to seed. The man had a full head of hair and a beard that touched his enormous belly.

"My father," Armstrong said proudly.

Edward was going to thank the man for allowing them to stay in his house, but he didn't seem inclined to stop talking. In fact, Armstrong simply talked over him while his father continued recounting the Armstrong family's stellar legacy.

Instead, Edward took a seat beside Alphonse, and his own Alphonse sat beside him. Edward glanced over at the other Alphonse, who was making a face. "I was beginning to think you got lost," he said, not even bothering to whisper.

Edward glanced up at Armstrong's father, who hadn't paused yet, then to Armstrong, who was listening to his father with rapt attention, tears and sparkles going full swing. Then he shook his head and rolled his eyes. "You can blame Havoc for that, he took the scenic route." He inclined his head at Armstrong's father. "Has he been doing this the entire time?"

"And then some," Alphonse muttered.

The armor Edward leaned forward a little so Edward could hear him. "I don't think he's stopped to breathe."

"Have Edana and Alanza arrived?" Alphonse asked.

Edward's Alphonse answered that. "They followed us in," he said. "But Armstrong's sister grabbed Edana. Said something about cleaning up."

"Cleaning up! An excellent idea!" Armstrong's father actually reacted to what they were saying, which caused all four Elrics to jump. "Dinner should be ready. Our guests will probably want to use the facilities to freshen up before we eat!"

That was a dismissal if there ever was one. "Facilities?" Edward asked as they all stood up.

A petite older woman in a maid's outfit appeared at the door. "Ah, Koko!" Armstrong said, then turned to the boys. "Koko will show you to your rooms … dinner will likely be ready in a half-hour."

Koko curtsied. "If the young masters will follow me," she said.

Edward, Alphonse and their respective brothers all exchanged Looks, then they filed towards the door.

"Edward, Alphonse," Armstrong boomed. "I could use some assistance with-"

All four of them stopped and looked at Armstrong as if he'd grown a second head. "Which…" the flesh Alphonse started in confusion.

"The Edward and Alphonse who won't be freshening up, of course!" Armstrong said, completely nonplussed at their confusion. "Follow me, please!"

The suits of armor exchanged shrugs. "I guess we'll see you at dinner, 'niisan," Alphonse said. They turned to follow Armstrong, with the Edward armor snorting to himself.

"Won't be freshening up… what if I wanted to change my apron?"

"'Niichan…" Alphonse was placating as they exited the study from a different door.

Edward shook his head, then turned his attention back to Koko. "I, uh … guess we're ready now."


	16. Chapter 16

_Mirror Sixteen_

The set of rooms that Koko showed them to were quite large individually. One bedroom was connected to a bath, and then that bath was also connected to the adjoining bathroom. "Nice," Edward whistled, as they looked the rooms over.

The one that Koko had shown Edward to could have doubled as a library. There were two individual beds, with a night stand between them. A desk was set against the wall, under a large window, and there were two large and comfortably overstuffed armchairs. There were at least seven bookshelves lining the other walls, and an expansive closet. "Much nicer than the barracks."

"Agreed," Alphonse called from the other room. "Uh … Edward?"

Edward paused. This Alphonse had not yet addressed him directly, and it was odd to hear something other than 'niisan' from that voice. "Yeah?"

Alphonse stuck his head into Edward's room via the bathroom, glancing over the room then eyes falling to the bed. "I think our benefactors have a dress code for dinner."

"Huh?" Edward's gaze fell to the bed as well, then he rolled his eyes. A cream-colored dress shirt and dark navy dress trousers were laid out on the bed. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me."

"We are staying under their roof," Alphonse reminded him, his voice rising in volume as he returned to the adjoining room. "We should at least accommodate them."

"I don't do white," Edward growled, stalking over to the closet. When he threw it open, he was rewarded by a wide array of clothes.

Alphonse walked back into the room, this time tugging off his undershirt. "Don't like showing off the automail either, huh?" He shook his head. "Do you have dress shirts in there?"

Edward took a half step back out of the closet. "Don't you have your own closet?"

Alphonse shrugged, flopping down on the empty bed. "It's all girls clothes," he said, amused.

Edward found a black dress shirt and made a noise of satisfaction. He'd at least wear a nicer shirt to dinner, but he was wearing his usual pants.

His usual, grimy, haven't-been-washed-in-at-least-a-week pants.

With a dejected sigh, he headed for the dresser squashed between two bookcases. Alphonse lay back on the bed, the bedsprings squeaking noisily. "This is so weird."

"Staying with the Armstrongs qualifies as temporary insanity, I think," Edward said, pulling open the second drawer. "I thought you said you needed a shirt."

"That's not what I meant," Alphonse said with a frown, propping himself up on his elbows. Edward found a pair of pants and had thrown them over the back of one of the armchairs.

"I know that's not what you mean," Edward said, already pulling on the clean trousers. "It's weird for all of us, but I think we're coping well enough."

"Speak for yourself," Alphonse muttered, dropping his head back to the bed.

Edward paused, then finished fastening the front of his pants. He turned on Alphonse, arms crossed. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"My 'niisan is a bit more open about things than your Alphonse, I imagine," Alphonse said, folding his arms behind his head. "He feels that I talk more to you than I do to him. That somehow, having you here overwrites his existence, because there your are in the flesh."

"That's ridiculous," Edward said, dropping his hands to his sides. "If anything, I want to know as much about your world and if the alchemy theories there match ours… I'm not trying to replace my brother with you."

"Likewise," Alphonse said. "I don't know if they know it, though."

"My Alphonse does, I'm sure," Edward said, but doubt crept into his voice. DID Alphonse realize that? Or did he think that Edward favored this "other" brother? With Al, he probably wouldn't say anything, either way.

Alphonse nodded. "Thought so. Anyway, onto other, less dark matters. Were there any other black shirts in there?" he gestured at the closet.

Edward shrugged into the black dress shirt he had appropriated. "Check for yourself," he snorted. "I think I got the last one, though."

Alphonse growled, sitting straight up. "There better at least be some dark blue or something," he muttered. "You can see automail through the light-colored shirts."

Edward smiled despite the cold feeling in his gut. That was exactly the reason why he refused to wear light-colored dress shirts. Alphonse found a dark gray shirt and turned around to walk past Edward. Edward frowned, then grabbed Alphonse's arm as he went by.

Alphonse paused, glancing at Edward curiously. Edward glanced down … they both were barefoot, for the moment, then glanced at Alphonse.

They were exactly the same height.

Alphonse noticed this at the same time, then gave a brief shake of his head. Then he patted the arm Edward grabbed him with and smirked. "I'm two years younger than you are."


	17. Chapter 17

_Mirror Seventeen_

Koko came to get them precisely thirty minutes later. Edward had cleaned up a bit more since then. He had threaded his belt through the trouser pants and tucked the dress shirt in. He had contemplated wearing his gloves to dinner, but realized that the Armstrong family was trustworthy enough. They probably knew about his automail already. It didn't make him any less paranoid about not wearing his gloves, though they wouldn't look very nice with his clothes.

'I think Winry is finally getting through to me,' he thought as he stepped out into the hall. Koko was already knocking on Alphonse's door. Alphonse stepped out, tugging at the cuffs of the dark gray dress shirt he had appropriated from Edward's closet. He had also found a black vest, which he wore, open over the shirt. "Follow me, gentlemen," Koko said, leading down the hallway. Edward fell into step beside Alphonse, who was still fiddling with his cuffs.

The dining room was in the center of the manor. Koko led them through large double-doors, where they found several people already there. The other Edward and Alphonse were seated beside each other, heads bent together like they were scheming something. That worried Edward. Katherine was seated beside some sour-looking blonde chick that was wearing a dark violet long-sleeved dress. Edward's gaze skipped over that side of the table when he saw whom he presumed was Alanza, seated opposite the other armor.

"Edana?" Alphonse was quicker than Edward.

Edward's gaze immediately went back to the girl in purple. Her hair was down, too, but she scowled and was suddenly recognizable. "If I hear even so much as a snicker from either of you, consider yourselves castrated," she snarled.

Edward and Alphonse looked at each other, looked back at Edana, then both burst into hysterical laughter.

"I warned you," Edana snarled, halfway out of her seat when Katherine Elle grabbed her arm. Abruptly, Edana was seated again, although she didn't look pleased about it.

"Welcome, welcome!" Armstrong said, standing up and gesturing towards the two chairs beside the armor.

Alphonse sat closest to the armor, who leaned backward and bobbed his head at Edward. "'Hey, 'niisan!"

"Hey, Al," Edward said, seating himself beside the flesh Alphonse. Unfortunately for him, that meant that he was seated directly opposite a scowling Edana. He smirked at her, and she scowled deeper.

Armstrong's father and mother soon joined them, and they had a full table. Edward, seated closest to Armstrong's mother, made some polite albeit uninteresting conversation with her. He complimented Edana, which made her scowl even more and resulted in Armstrong's mother scolding her for not taking compliments properly. The first course of food came and went, and Edward realized that when the Armstrong family sat down to dinner, they sat down to a FEAST.

He was muttering something to Alphonse when Edward heard a familiar clap. He glanced at Edana, who had a fork in one hand and an innocent smile on her face as she talked to Katherine Elle.

The smile made Edward shudder. He glanced at Alphonse, who looked as disturbed as he felt. "Did you…?" he asked quietly.

Alphonse shook his head negatively. "Wasn't me."

Edward glanced at his Alphonse, who was looking blankly at Armstrong while Armstrong waxed poetic about ... well, edward wasn't sure and didn't really care.

Edana caught the fact that he was glancing around the table and caught his eye. She grinned, all teeth, and he felt even more nervous. Edward grabbed his water glass and took a deep drink.

By the time the smell registered with him it was already in his mouth. Edward gagged and immediately retched, the vinegar still burning in his mouth. Of course, his violent gagging caught everyone's attention, and Alphonse grabbed Edward's dropped water glass and sniffed it, then glowered at the innocent-looking Edana. "Vinegar," he said.

"Oh, my," Armstrong's mother said, looking concerned. "Did one of our servers…?"

"I'm sure they mixed something up, it wasn't intentional," Alphonse said, sniffing his own water glass before handing it over to Edward, whom drank it down in one gulp. "I think we need more water, though."


	18. Chapter 18

_Mirror Eighteen_

"That was vile," Edward said, scowling. They had found the Armstrong family library, which apparently had a great tradition of housing rare and ancient alchemy texts. Armstrong had been waxing about that when they kicked him out, saying they had sibling matters to attend to.

"You deserved it," Edana retorted, seated on the corner of the desk. She had managed to ditch the purple dress, but her own clothes still seemed to be AWOL. She was now wearing a dark red dress shirt and slacks. Edana finished braiding her hair then tossed it over her shoulder. "I warned you."

The two Alphonses were seated on the floor, leaning against one of the many bookshelves in the room. They had several books open and were comparing notes. "Dornkirk, Dornkirk, Dornkirk!" The flesh Alphonse slammed a book closed angrily. "If I have to read the words "destiny" and "prognostication" in the same sentence again I'm going to punch something."

"We're not having any luck," the armor Alphonse said.

"I found something!" Alanza said. "… I think."

Everyone's attention swiveled to her, and she held a book out that she had pulled from a top shelf. "'The Crossing of Worlds,'" she read aloud. "'A Guide to separating the mind from the body…' Crap, maybe this isn't what we need after all…"

"Read through it anyway, Al, you never know," Edana said.

"We are making absolutely no progress," the other Edward said darkly.

"We've been at it for a day and a half," his Alphonse said, now halfway up a ladder. "Calm down, 'niisan. We'll find our path home. However long it takes."

The six of them combed through the Armstrong's library. While several books were found that might contain clues to what they needed, there was nothing concrete. Edana retired first, carting three books with her as she went. "I'm heading up, Al," she told Alanza.

"Go on without me," Alanza said. "I don't need sleep, so I'll keep looking, at least for tonight."

"Suit yourself. G'night, everyone."

When Edward caught himself nodding off over one of his own books, he realized that Edana had the right idea. He rose, stretching his arms above his head.

"Going to bed, 'niisan?" Alphonse asked quietly.

"Yup. Are you going to stay with Alanza?"

Alphonse glanced at the other suit of armor, who had appropriate a large stack of books around her. "I think I will, yes … I think that 'niichan is going to stay down here tonight as well." He tapped the side of his head, and Edward would swear he was grinning. "There are some useful things about being disembodied, I guess."

Edward patted his brother's shoulder as he passed. "G'night, Al. Don't try anything I wouldn't do until the mornin'."

At the doorway, Edward prodded the other Alphonse's sleeping form with a boot. "Rise an' shine, Al. There's actually a bed upstairs, if you can make it."

Alphonse opened one eye blearily, then realized he was sleeping face-first in an old book and rolled off of it. "Augh, what time is it?"

"Late. Go to bed."

"Mm." Alphonse struggled to his feet and followed Edward out of the library.

Edward softly shut the door behind him, then leaned against it with his eyes closed. He was somewhat disappointed that his Alphonse had elected to stay the night in the library. He wasn't fond of sleeping in a room by himself … that usually only happened when he and Alphonse were fighting. Even the times he had been hospitalized Alphonse had spent the night in the room with him.

He opened his eyes, then started in surprise. Edana was sprawled out on his bed, book open in front of her. She looked up at him. "Yo."

"…that's my bed," Edward said, the first logical thing to come to mind.

She glanced around. "So it is."

"What are you doing in it?"

"Commandeering it."

Edward blinked. "Why?"

"So that crazy bat … excuse me, Major Armstrong's younger sister … won't find me in the morning." Edana closed the book and sat up, yawning. "The other bed's empty, you know. You can sleep there."

"That's Al's bed."

"But he's not sleeping up here, so you can use it." Edana wriggled out of her trousers, which made Edward turn an interesting shade of red. Edana paused, then rolled her eyes at him. "It's not like I'm not wearing boxers," she snorted, pulling down the covers to dive under them.

As she spoke, Alphonse wandered in the room, wearing just that. Without even glancing at Edward, he made a beeline for the empty bed.

Edward blinked in confusion. "…my bed?" he tried again.

"Don't wanna sleep 'lone," Alphonse muttered sleepily, burrowing under the covers of the empty bed.

Edward rolled his eyes heavenward in exasperation, wondering where that left him to sleep. He glanced at one of the armchairs, then smiled, bringing his hands together.

The door opened quietly, and three heads peered in.

"I told you," Alphonse whispered fiercely. "And you wouldn't believe me."

The other Edward shook his head, looking amused. "They sleep like the dead."

"And snore in unison," Alanza chuckled. "Come on, before we wake them."

The door closed, just as quietly as it had opened.

**Author's Note:** I still have plans and ideas for this story, but ... my muses locked themselves in a tower room and negotiations have been slow. 


End file.
